To and From

Matthew 9:16-17
There seems to be an awful lot of ministry concerns these days. I can't remeber the last time I fell asleep at night feeling 100% confident that I properly ministered to everyone in my path. I usually fee like a failure when it comes to ministry. Let's face it, how many "results" am I seeing these days? The job, well, I can do all of that blindfolded, but as far as making eternal differences perhaps that remains to be seen. Good ministry has never equaled powerful ministry, and in 2010 I desire to see the latter.
But where will this come from, and what is likely to change? I have the same students in the group, work with the same staff, and will be at the same church. I will live in the same house with the same family, and more than likely, keep my same friends. So if I want change, which we all seem to be begging so much of these days, I have to focus on the one element I am always in control of....ME. For me, 2010 will refocus from what I minister to, so that I can give great attention to what I am ministering from.
Get real, broken ministers lead broken ministries. And in all of my past focus on building ministry, I forget often to build my self. Who am I kidding; I neglect building myself. My well so often goes dry and ministry, as a result, gets reduced to my ability alone. God help us all! Just how do I ever think ministry that isn't spilling out of my own soul would possibly be useful for anything but lifeless rules and information. C.S. Lewis said, "Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil." And if I were in this to provide information alone that would be one thing, but I can't buy into the idea that's what I am supposed to be.
What if, instead of scrounging together orders of service and trying to figure out what will work next, what if before researching and purchasing the next popular small group curriculum from the hottest name in Christianity, that I just myself allowed God to work so much in me that it cannot help but spill out and exemplify his life-changing presence. Would that not be the better thing? Our churches and ministries will renew when the leaders renew. The state of Israel in the old testament declined greatly based on the spiritual conditions of the priests. So, this priest, this leader, desires to choose the "good thing" and make his way back to a life of Godly submission by spending a great deal of time at the feet of Jesus. I want to fall in love again and let that love be the basis of everything I "do". I end with this final quote from C.S. Lewis. Let it be the sum of my desire:
“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”