Thanks Jim

I have a friend named Jim. Since the very first day we crossed paths I knew we would be great friends. This note, in a roundabout way, expresses my appreciation for that friendship.

I am what most people may call cynical. I have had no reservations with conforming to that title. There are several things in life I am cynical about, especially in the church, because the church is my life. I used to be just skeptical. But that skepticism was an ever growing snowball gaining momentum into full blown cynicism.

It was recently, wide open on Facebook, that I was challenged by my friend Jim in this arena of thought. Truth is, cynicism is used a lot in comedy, and some people love me for mine, but, as Jim pointed out, it is really a sense of detachment. I had started to see it this way somewhat but was still bent on the fact that all of my cynical sayings and attitudes were perfectly harmless and fine. And it was by this sharp rebuke from my friend that I am starting to see it differently.

Jim wasn't harsh, dont get me wrong. He simply made the statement, "Make sure your cynicism is pointed toward the right things." Jim provided me the deifintion, which I already knew, but sounded much different coming from him. Cynicism is a distrust in the integrity or motives of others. Somewhere along the way in life I had lost my sense of naivety. I would think at times that maybe trust cant be accomplished so easy. But I had really gotten to the place where I did not give myself a chance to trust. And that led to a lot of assuming. And that assuming has probably kept me from many blessings. It has, no doubt, probably locked me out of opportunities for enrichment, whether that be through reading or verbal exchange with another. I looked up the definition of cynicism and found that Jim, if he looked up the same one, was kind enough to leave off the first part. And here it is for I need to say it to self: Cynicism is "an attitude of scornful or jaded negativity". Thanks Jim for leaving that be. But it all applies to my circumstance. And negative I never want to be.

I refuse to beat myself up about it. But I do plan on correcting it. I really want my life to be everything God intends. And I know enough that in order to be that, i need to remain open, despite even how the actions of others may try and dictate my outlook on them or others in their people group. I never want to miss a thing God has, i just don't. And thanks to Jim, I may not have to. Thanks Jim, for your words of compassion, and thanks for being my friend.