Parenthood

I have spent the morning on the phone with various parents of our teens. We had seven teens affirm their decision for Christ last Weddnesday in service, six of which are looking toward following the Lord in water baptism. The students were encouraged to speak with their parents concerning the decison, and were told that I would give follow-up myself. I said all that to say, it is for this reason I have been on the phone. What I received mostly was a spirit of embrace concerning this which gave me hope that parents still want the best for their children. If there is any irony in this, is that all parents I spoke with do not attend church of any kind. Most seem to have some history with it, or at least I will take that assumption with the comfort level of the topic of baptism. There weren't any outlandish questions at least. Of the ones spoken with this morning, only one gave the emphatic response that they had no intention of ever coming. Sad, but true. The potpourri of response and conversation this morning has me thinking a lot about being a parent. I would immediately fault them for not attending church, but then again I do not know their stories or experience. And as quickly as I could fault them, I could fault myself for the hypocrisy I have exemplified with my children as one who attends regularly, but maybe doens't hold the values firmly at all times. I think as parents we all try hard. This is positve but then again it is also the negative charge that can sometimes spark mistakes. We re-live all of our bad childhood experiences and vow that we will not rasie them that way. Whether it is more freedom, lack of one brand of discipline, rights and privileges, more or less materialism, or any other way we felt we were wronged...we insist on giving our child better. While that's ok, it doesn't take too much focus on what not to do before we end up doing just that...giving them nothing. Dr. James Dobson states this danger another way, "Sometimes we're so concerned about giving our children what we didn't have growing up, that we forget to give them what we did have growing up". That's an interesting perspective. The point is this: maybe we try too hard. Perhaps we overthink it. At the core, children need love and discpline. They need to know they are supported and cared for, and need to know when they are outside the boundaries of safety. I am in no way a parenting expert, but most of what I can think of fall in these two categories. But I too often get caught on the externals, and in everything my children have been provided, the most important things are often negelcted. I guess one could say that I am caught being the child and allowing them to raise themselves. God forbid. I suppose they would grow up better if I would grow up first. I want nothing more than to give some sort of list of do's and don'ts right now, maybe something concrete to do that would make us a success. But I think we all know, if we have been parenting very long, that we may never be able to exhaust all of those things. The uniqueness of the family unit makes that impossible. But what are you doing? What are you not doing? What are some things you have been delaying when it comes to your children? Be encouraged today no matter how you may feel about your parenting efforts. Know that it's the little things that make the difference, and do the little things more. Don't be overwhelmed with what you feel like you are not doing. The things that matter, well, your probably doing them without even thinking.