The title of this blog has nothing to do with the fact that I think I compare with these two men, nonetheless, I do identify with them. I feel that their "calling" is similar to mine.
It is a Pastor's calling for sure, a calling to train others and keep in line myself. That sounds simple even as I write it, but it never is. Keeping ones self above reproach is a daunting task. I understand the element of God's grace and am truly thankful for that, but the fact that I am forgiven doesn't release me from the responsibility of guarding my life, and that with great dependence on the Holy Spirit.
As I read the book of Titus this morning, I see no fireworks. There is a part of me that is trained to look for such "power" when I read the Word, or in "experience" with God and in ministry. What I do see is living. I see reminders of how to live. I see common instruction for a "common faith" (Titus 1:4). I read what is looked at today as common sense, but even titled as such, rarely obeyed by the masses. I see reminders not to let evil get the best of us. If I were to completely honest, I see what most people would define as things people should just be doing in the natural, things they should not have to be reminded to do. But they do need told, we all do...again, again, again...and again.
And this is where I come in. It is what Titus and Timothy were supposed to do. They, I, as pastors, serve as reminders to the people. We are the repeated voice pleading with them to pursue Godly living. We are to be the example of such living. And in this redundant task, there was no promise of reward other than that of Heaven and being received at the return of Christ (Titus 1:13). There was no, "if you do these things, the people will love and celebrate you", no "just wait to see how people respond, it's going to be EPIC". It was, as much of a command for Titus to remind the people what they should be doing, a reminder to Titus from Paul what he should be doing. Because, let's face it, even the Titus, Timothy, and the Brian K. Pounds forget their calling, and are guilty of being highly distracted by things they ought not to be.
We all want grand experience, something to show for our labor. One day we will have that. Until then, keep plugging away at your calling. Pastor people. Remind them of the things they should be pursuing, and when they forget, remind them again. Do not grow weary in doing good (no matter how redundant it may seem). Your calling is a privilege and granted by God. He, above all, is pleased with your diligence, and more so, your dependence on Him to see your calling to completion.
06 July 2011
05 July 2011
The Space Between
There's nothing happening right now, and I mean nothing, but I am not sure there is supposed to be. I sit alone in my office with plenty of things to do most of the time. But I am consistently overwhelmed with the feeling that doing them will not amount to anything. Funny, I never treated another job in the world like this.
When I did bill collections, I was never overcome with a strong feeling of significance regarding my work. I would simply do what they asked (of course that with the occasional attitude of laziness). I showed up, worked a file, and at the end of the day...went home. Never do I remember reflecting on the day and worrying myself over whether I "made a difference".
Now what I can't seem to figure out is if I wasn't taking that seriously enough or taking vocational ministry (which is what I do now) too seriously. Honestly, I'm probably just taking myself too seriously. But why only in vocational ministry do I do that?
I did a lot of ministry in bill collections. Everybody knew WHAT I was or better yet WHO I was. They knew my moral limits and Christian stance. I was the one the office looked to when 9/11 happened for a response. The management seemed to figure me as integrous, and why not, I usually did what was asked and more. I was a very middle of the road performer though. The only time I was first place in revenue was when the whole office had a horrible month. Still yet, other than one time when I was grilled on a poor performance, I never took my work home with me. And I do constantly now, that is, take my work home with me. I always worry about doing enough or whether or not what I did mattered. My mind stays consumed with thoughts of success and failure, and while I am consumed with that, I feel guilty because I am probably missing some opportunities that I am currently in, like, I don't know, giving quality attention to my children for instance. Why is their such a huge unseen pressure to constantly do something huge that will bring notoriety?
Truth is, I have no resolve for this blog. I don't know what the answer to it all is, or if it's even a problem. But I know that I have this empty feeling, this feeling that I am of no earthly good at times. It is a mild despair that I am not making enough happen, even though I disagree one hundred percent with the notion that I should be making anything "move". I am in the space between significance and sadness...and I don't even know why.
I search for something to blame, but their is nothing or no one. Yet I have this unwavering faith that God hasn't changed in the midst of all of this. And until I figure this out, I suppose that is the only substance I need.
01 July 2011
Stalemate: An Allegory
I'm not much of a chess player, but I can play (or at least I know the ins and outs). I know how the pieces move , how to "castle" in order for a better defense, know some random strategies I suppose, and certainly know the object of the game. That is enough to keep me involved with most level one chess players.
Few times in my chess experiences have I ever reached a stalemate. In a more relevant way, a stalemate is best described by using the term "tie". It is where one player is not necessarily in check (or getting ready to lose) but yet has no legal moves to get out the situation. This is rare.
Lately, I have sort of been feeling this in my life. I have used this term in talking to my wife and some of my closer friends (yet I am now putting it out here for the world to see). Have you ever reached that point in life? You are not defeated, but yet you feel trapped, like you need to "make a move", but just can't. If I were a brilliant man, I think I could somehow figure out what got me here. I want to blame something, or somebody. That's just easier. But the point is not necessarily figuring out why you are here, or even how to get out of it. There is really only one thing you can do when you reach a stalemate, call it for what it is and start another game.
Chances are, it's just simply time to "re-invent". I use quotations because that't one of those modern terms that is overused in ministry, and while I like to avoid such things, I simply can't think of a better term. When we reach these stalemates in life, I believe that it is simply God calling us to start afresh. But here is the catch, when you start again, you cannot use the same strategy, or you will wind up in the same place. The strategy of the enemy will be the same, to defeat you. But you need to take a different approach to life.
This can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. It may mean addition or elimination of things or people. It may mean a move of venue. Truth that cannot be denied is that you are feeling what you are feeling for a reason. And it will only be by prayerful thinking that you will be led into what can change is necessary. But whatever it is, remember that a new game is the only response.
In closing understand two very powerful things:
1) A new game requires a different strategy.
Like mentioned above. The same approach will get you to the same place. There are some things you have to take into the mew game. The pieces are the same, the rules are the same, the object is the same, yet, your overall strategy of combinations and your ability to see a different picture has to improve. You have to be able to remember the former game and learn from those mistakes. You have to be fully engaged in the new game, completely sober to every move you make and to the moves of your opponent. A new game has elements of the old one, but it is nonetheless a new game.
2) A new strategy from you requires a new strategy from your opponent.
Like any new game, expect a different approach from your opponent. His goal is the same, defeat. But know that he is no more interested in a draw than you are. Both should crave victory at every turn. Victory is achieved not in one move, but in many. You start winning the game with your mindset, and then by individual moves. Each move builds or sets up the next to form a plan of victory. Adjustments may have to be made a long the way, nevertheless keep your eye on the prize. But never forget that new games bring new challenges. Be ready for everything the new game entails.
One more thing that it would be senseless not to say. Like this life we live, we have to approach it with the attitude of victory. Fear is a crippler in any "game". If you approach it with an attitude of inferiority, you will lose every time. The approach must always be "victory is mine". Carry that into every new start!
Few times in my chess experiences have I ever reached a stalemate. In a more relevant way, a stalemate is best described by using the term "tie". It is where one player is not necessarily in check (or getting ready to lose) but yet has no legal moves to get out the situation. This is rare.
Lately, I have sort of been feeling this in my life. I have used this term in talking to my wife and some of my closer friends (yet I am now putting it out here for the world to see). Have you ever reached that point in life? You are not defeated, but yet you feel trapped, like you need to "make a move", but just can't. If I were a brilliant man, I think I could somehow figure out what got me here. I want to blame something, or somebody. That's just easier. But the point is not necessarily figuring out why you are here, or even how to get out of it. There is really only one thing you can do when you reach a stalemate, call it for what it is and start another game.
Chances are, it's just simply time to "re-invent". I use quotations because that't one of those modern terms that is overused in ministry, and while I like to avoid such things, I simply can't think of a better term. When we reach these stalemates in life, I believe that it is simply God calling us to start afresh. But here is the catch, when you start again, you cannot use the same strategy, or you will wind up in the same place. The strategy of the enemy will be the same, to defeat you. But you need to take a different approach to life.
This can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. It may mean addition or elimination of things or people. It may mean a move of venue. Truth that cannot be denied is that you are feeling what you are feeling for a reason. And it will only be by prayerful thinking that you will be led into what can change is necessary. But whatever it is, remember that a new game is the only response.
In closing understand two very powerful things:
1) A new game requires a different strategy.
Like mentioned above. The same approach will get you to the same place. There are some things you have to take into the mew game. The pieces are the same, the rules are the same, the object is the same, yet, your overall strategy of combinations and your ability to see a different picture has to improve. You have to be able to remember the former game and learn from those mistakes. You have to be fully engaged in the new game, completely sober to every move you make and to the moves of your opponent. A new game has elements of the old one, but it is nonetheless a new game.
2) A new strategy from you requires a new strategy from your opponent.
Like any new game, expect a different approach from your opponent. His goal is the same, defeat. But know that he is no more interested in a draw than you are. Both should crave victory at every turn. Victory is achieved not in one move, but in many. You start winning the game with your mindset, and then by individual moves. Each move builds or sets up the next to form a plan of victory. Adjustments may have to be made a long the way, nevertheless keep your eye on the prize. But never forget that new games bring new challenges. Be ready for everything the new game entails.
One more thing that it would be senseless not to say. Like this life we live, we have to approach it with the attitude of victory. Fear is a crippler in any "game". If you approach it with an attitude of inferiority, you will lose every time. The approach must always be "victory is mine". Carry that into every new start!
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