Living and Learning

I have spent the majority of my morning reading.  For some time I went on a reading drought.  I had made quite a habit for some time to read book after book but simply had to take a break, a break that lasted a little longer than anticipated.  Nevertheless, i am back in the saddle.
On top of reading books I have found myself back to THE GOOD BOOK.  I have started diving into it with the same gusto I did in my youth when challenged by my Youth pastor.  I love it...and I hate it.  I find myself with great joy and with great fear all at the same time.  Nothing cuts and simultaneously comforts like the Word of God.
While reading, being the only one in the office this morning, I am fielding phone calls.  A lady in the church is recently overcome with medical problems and numerous members of the church are looking for updates.  And as well, the typical phone calls arrive.  The first of which this morning was a recording of some lady saying we could be eligible for grants, others just random people who choose not to identify themselves asking for other staff members who are currently absent.  If I had to describe my morning, it has been a hodge-podge of activity and assignment.   But, isn't everyday.
My wife often asks me upon my coming home daily what I did that day.  Being a man, I usually say nothing.  Not unless I have a "to do" list am I very good at retracing my steps.  There's always a few big things that happens, or at least one memorable thing.  But most days are "routine" in a church office, not in the sense that you see the same things twice, but in the sense that it is work like anything else.  You have unexpected assignments and tasks that creep up on you, planning ahead, revisiting your procrastinated chores, and etc.
I think today as I read, and am, for lack of better terms, interrupted with other things as I do, that life is simply a cycle of living and learning.
I have always thought that to mean we learn from our living.  But I re-think that today.  I think learning can happen by chance as we have all had to learn lessons "the hard way".  But I really am starting to believe that the best learning will always be intentional, that maybe learning does not have to be the result of living, but rather living is enhanced by learning.  I find that my intentional learning, the making myself into a student daily, better prepares me for the things life throws at me.  I may have expected such phone calls this morning out of experience, but I can never predict them.  None of us can predict life.  But you can choose to learn.  If life wants to teach you something, learn it that way.  But choose to learn.  Learn by other's life that have lived before you.  Seek conversation and dialogue.  Read (especially God's Word).  Let your life be enriched because you were prepared for it.  And if someone asked you how you are today, simply say, "Learning and Living".

Total Recall

There are just times in life, and I am finding those times more often, that we must have the discipline to recall the pleasantness of our experience with God.  I mean, look around! What do you see?  Right now, America is about to default on it's debts (whatever that means), the Cherokee Nation in Oklahoma is in turmoil, which means the economy is in deeper trouble, and there are more and more stories of unthinkable acts of men coupled with tragedies that defy all imagination.  In the middle of this, what is man to think?  What is Christian man to think?

This morning I was encouraged by the Word of God in Lamentations 3:21-33.  Allow me to share:

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man he bear the yoke in his youth.
Let him sit alone in his silence when it is laid on him;
let him put his mouth in the dust - there yet may be hope;
let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
and let him be filled with insults.
For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief,
he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men.

God bless you in your journey today!

Are You Not Entertained

I love the movie Gladiator.  It's just one of those movies I can watch again and again.  Of course, there is something about that period of Rome that intrigues me, maybe it's because it's contemporary with Biblical times, yet I never seem to think about the apostles living or the spread of Christianity (being that the film is set about 120 years after Christ).  The movie is filled with epic moments, and one of those brought to thought today.  it is after one the gladiator games set up by the Emperor Commodus, where the character of Maximus lets his disdain be known by shouting to the crowd after victory, "Are you not entertained!?"

From a ministry standpoint, I am sure that pastors today feel like screaming the same thing.  To be fair before I am accused of a horrid generalization, there are those people among us, in our churches, that are after Christ with a whole heart.  They are diligent in their pursuit, faithful to the Christ community and in their Christian service, and genuinely in pursuit of their place in God's great plan.  But it seems that there is a disturbing trend among church culture.  Something of a cancer has began to penetrate the fibers of Christian community. And however ironic it may seem to you for me to write this, with the movie of reference and all, I still wish to warn and bring to discussion the cancer of entertainment.
It's not entertainment in and of itself that is the problem, albeit it could be the root.  At least our current cultures overexposure to it and over-stimulation altogether.  But it seems that one's interest in the knowledge of God today is deeply paired with entertainment.  Our pastors are no longer expected to be men of study, teachers, or equippers.  It's not about getting the information of the Word of God out so that man and woman may deal with and apply it to the heart.  It's about how engaging we can make it.  Christ Himself, His desire for our obedience and faith are no longer captivating, lest there be a really awesome video or song to stimulate the hearer, bringing not an eternal heartfelt response but rather an instantaneous high.  This in turn is not transforming the soul, but only conforming to the comfort of the "believer".  It does not turn the believer into the world as a change agent, but rather allows the world to continue to influence the believer.  You now have the stark opposite of what Christ commanded in the Great Commission, the world penetrating the Church.

Well then, Mr.Smarty Pants, how are we supposed to reach the culture if we don't "speak their language".  I understand people speak in text now, and that they would rather not be face to face. I know technology and media continue to reign supreme.  But why are we letting that dictate how we respond to people?  Here are a couple of quick questions to consider:

1) Where in this is the creative ability of God's people?
If anything, the church should be on the cutting edge of creativity, not overcome with mimicry.  This imitation is perhaps the result of spending our time indulging in the world vs. being before our God.  Shouldn't we seek to be the initiators of powerful communication?


2) Whatever happened to a strong dependence on the Holy Spirit to change lives?
Yeah, I know how "old fashioned" that sounds.  It doesn't fly with us "driven" people.  Because, we are suppose to be "out there" engaging the culture.  Silence and solitude, putting our own hearts in a right place is simply wasting time.  Notice in this trendy age of church culture driven by man's often un-biblical approach has seemed to cause a growing disgust with the church, especially among it's own.  Wow, look what we have done?  Isn't it awesome?

3) Have we forgotten the simpler language of love?
The greatest acts of Christ-driven love the world has ever seen were technology free. They were not considered "trendy" or even defined then as "relevant".  Even today, the stories that really move the heart, in this day of technology, are stories that aren't grand and carry no "power punch".  They are simple acts of love, and that's all the punch they seem to need.

How do we change?  We return to God for starters.  Stop being "driven" and return to our calling.  Our calling was not to simply inspire or "move" people.  For the Pastor, it is to equip for ministry, and that with a heart filled by God.  For the layperson, it is to be consumed by Christ and 100% engaged in a community of saints, spreading the Gospel message.  And folks, know none of this has to be "entertaining".  Because the acts of love, your devotion to Christ and Him working in and through your life will always be more powerful than the Gladiator himself.

Titus, Timothy, and Brian K. Pounds

The title of this blog has nothing to do with the fact that I think I compare with these two men, nonetheless, I do identify with them.  I feel that their "calling" is similar to mine.
It is a Pastor's calling for sure, a calling to train others and keep in line myself.  That sounds simple even as I write it, but it never is.  Keeping ones self above reproach is a daunting task.  I understand the element of God's grace and am truly thankful for that, but the fact that I am forgiven doesn't release me from the responsibility of guarding my life, and that with great dependence on the Holy Spirit.
As I read the book of Titus this morning, I see no fireworks.  There is a part of me that is trained to look for such "power" when I read the Word, or in "experience" with God and in ministry.  What I do see is living.  I see reminders of how to live.  I see common instruction for a "common faith" (Titus 1:4).  I read what is looked at today as common sense, but even titled as such, rarely obeyed by the masses.  I see reminders not to let evil get the best of us.  If I were to completely honest, I see what most people would define as things people should just be doing in the natural, things they should not have to be reminded to do.  But they do need told, we all do...again, again, again...and again.
And this is where I come in. It is what Titus and Timothy were supposed to do.  They, I, as pastors, serve as reminders to the people.  We are the repeated voice pleading with them to pursue Godly living.  We are to be the example of such living.  And in this redundant task, there was no promise of reward other than that of Heaven and being received at the return of Christ (Titus 1:13).  There was no, "if you do these things, the people will love and celebrate you", no "just wait to see how people respond, it's going to be EPIC".  It was, as much of a command for Titus to remind the people what they should be doing, a reminder to Titus from Paul what he should be doing.  Because, let's face it, even the Titus, Timothy, and the Brian K. Pounds forget their calling, and are guilty of being highly distracted by things they ought not to be.
We all want grand experience, something to show for our labor. One day we will have that. Until then, keep plugging away at your calling.  Pastor people.  Remind them of the things they should be pursuing, and when they forget, remind them again.  Do not grow weary in doing good (no matter how redundant it may seem).  Your calling is a privilege and granted by God. He, above all, is pleased with your diligence, and more so, your dependence on Him to see your calling to completion.

The Space Between

There's nothing happening right now, and I mean nothing, but I am not sure there is supposed to be.  I sit alone in my office with plenty of things to do most of the time.  But I am consistently overwhelmed with the feeling that doing them will not amount to anything.  Funny, I never treated another job in the world like this.

When I did bill collections, I was never overcome with a strong feeling of significance regarding my work.  I would simply do what they asked (of course that with the occasional attitude of laziness).  I showed up, worked a file, and at the end of the day...went home.  Never do I remember reflecting on the day and worrying myself over whether I "made a difference".  

Now what I can't seem to figure out is if I wasn't taking that seriously enough or taking vocational ministry (which is what I do now) too seriously. Honestly, I'm probably just taking myself too seriously.  But why only in vocational ministry do I do that?  

I did a lot of ministry in bill collections.  Everybody knew WHAT I was or better yet WHO I was.  They knew my moral limits and Christian stance. I was the one the office looked to when 9/11 happened for a response.  The management seemed to figure me as integrous, and why not, I usually did what was asked and more.  I was a very middle of the road performer though. The only time I was first place in revenue was when the whole office had a horrible month.  Still yet, other than one time when I was grilled on a poor performance, I never took my work home with me. And I do constantly now, that is, take my work home with me.  I always worry about doing enough or whether or not what I did mattered.  My mind stays consumed with thoughts of success and failure, and while I am consumed with that, I feel guilty because I am probably missing some opportunities that I am currently in, like, I don't know, giving quality attention to my children for instance.  Why is their such a huge unseen pressure to constantly do something huge that will bring notoriety?

Truth is, I have no resolve for this blog.  I don't know what the answer to it all is, or if it's even a problem. But I know that I have this empty feeling, this feeling that I am of no earthly good at times.  It is a mild despair that I am not making enough happen, even though I disagree one hundred percent with the notion that I should be making anything "move". I am in the space between significance and sadness...and I don't even know why.

I search for something to blame, but their is nothing or no one.  Yet I have this unwavering faith that God hasn't changed in the midst of all of this.  And until I figure this out, I suppose that is the only substance I need.  

Stalemate: An Allegory

I'm not much of a chess player, but I can play (or at least I know the ins and outs).  I know how the pieces move , how to "castle" in order for a better defense, know some random strategies I suppose, and certainly know the object of the game.  That is enough to keep me involved with most level one chess players.
Few times in my chess experiences have I ever reached a stalemate.  In a more relevant way, a stalemate is best described by using the term "tie".  It is where one player is not necessarily in check (or getting ready to lose) but yet has no legal moves to get out the situation.  This is rare.
Lately, I have sort of been feeling this in my life.  I have used this term in talking to my wife and some of my closer friends (yet I am now putting it out here for the world to see).  Have you ever reached that point in life?  You are not defeated, but yet you feel trapped, like you need to "make a move", but just can't.  If I were a brilliant man, I think I could somehow figure out what got me here.  I want to blame something, or somebody.  That's just easier.  But the point is not necessarily figuring out why you are here, or even how to get out of it.  There is really only one thing you can do when you reach a stalemate, call it for what it is and start another game.
Chances are, it's just simply time to "re-invent".  I use quotations because that't one of those modern terms that is overused in ministry, and while I like to avoid such things, I simply can't think of a better term.  When we reach these stalemates in life, I believe that it is simply God calling us to start afresh.  But here is the catch, when you start again, you cannot use the same strategy, or you will wind up in the same place.  The strategy of the enemy  will be the same, to defeat you.  But you need to take a different approach to life.
This can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.  It may mean addition or elimination of things or people.  It may mean a move of venue.  Truth that cannot be denied is that you are feeling what you are feeling for a reason.  And it will only be by prayerful thinking that you will be led into what can change is necessary.  But whatever it is, remember that a new game is the only response.
In closing understand two very powerful things:

1) A new game requires a different strategy.
Like mentioned above.  The same approach will get you to the same place.  There are some things you have to take into the mew game.  The pieces are the same, the rules are the same, the object is the same, yet, your overall strategy of combinations and your ability to see a different picture has to improve.  You have to be able to remember the former game and learn from those mistakes.  You have to be fully engaged in the new game, completely sober to every move you make and to the moves of your opponent.  A new game has elements of the old one, but it is nonetheless a new game.

2) A new strategy from you requires a new strategy from your opponent.
Like any new game, expect a different approach from your opponent.  His goal is the same, defeat.  But know that he is no more interested in a draw than you are.  Both should crave victory at every turn.  Victory is achieved not in one move, but in many.  You start winning the game with your mindset, and then by individual moves.  Each move builds or sets up the next to form a plan of victory.  Adjustments may have to be made a long the way, nevertheless keep your eye on the prize. But never forget that new games bring new challenges. Be ready for everything the new game entails.

One more thing that it would be senseless not to say.  Like this life we live, we have to approach it with the attitude of victory.  Fear is a crippler in any "game".  If you approach it with an attitude of inferiority, you will lose every time.  The approach must always be "victory is mine".  Carry that into every new start!