Joy

I laugh, because Christ got it right for me and his light shines in the midst of my darkness a little brighter each day.
I laugh, because God chose this imperfect vessel to teach others about perfection found only in Him.
I laugh because I am three things: husband, father, and minister, and there are people in all three realms that value me despite my shortcomings.
I laugh from joy, because there are some things about me that are worth duplicating.
I laugh because in all of my problems, there is always a desire to be better, and every little stride is another step toward change.
I laugh because I am given the opportunity to learn and apply new things, be it ever so slowly.
I laugh because I don't have to save myself.

Lament

I cry because I can't get it right. All of my efforts to live any sort of example seem to be useless.
I cry because I often teach integrity from a rotten soul and discipline from an undisciplined wasteland.
I cry because I am three things: husband, father, and minister...and yet such a poor excuse of all three.
I cry from fear, that any product resulting from my life may indeed be a duplicate of what I am.
I cry because in all problems, I lack the confidence to start making them better, and if I do start I cannot see the end.
I cry out of the status quo being I have become in the midst of knowing there is so much more.
I cry because I cannot save myself.

Fall

I really admire Billy Graham...of course for what he has done, but more for what he has not. For a man who has spoken to more poeple than any other historical figure, about what is now one of the most attacked ways of life, he managed his whole life to stay controversy free.
It was a few years ago that I watched a special on his life. I learned that at the height of evangelical scandal (PTL, Robert Tilton, Swaggart, etc.) he gathered his team up for serious accountability. He instructed them to go to their hotel rooms and list every single pitfall of the minister. Then, they got together and made a pact to never let anyone fall into those traps. Whatever the details of the whats, when, and hows, they seemed to accomplish just that.
But what are my pitfalls? What are my traps? I doubt they are most uncommon to what they were then. Nevertheless, the importance of "keeping clean" is just as crucial. The word instructs me on "clean conscience" and "walking accordingly to the call". I want to take my list before God today, and everyday for that matter. It's important, ever so important that I do. Now, "to Him who is able to keep me from falling", I dedicate today.