When it comes to trying to live life as a true disciple of Christ, I find myself in a tug-of-war between making it too hard and over-simplication. Where is the balance between "the narrow road that few find" and "the easy yoke and light burden"? Where does one find solace in the battle of being unique while being begged to fit into one common mold? In the seemingly pitch-black land of confusing and contradictory Christian teachings, just where does one locate the "peace that passeth all understanding"?
I often find myself at a crossroads of what I believe the summation is of all my experiences and learning. Why here and now? What here and now? And, just where to go in the future? Godliness with contentment is the presentation of the great apostle, but why do those things seem to clash. As I draw ever closer to God, I find myself feeling farther away. The more I know, the more I discover that I just don't know, and wonder if I ever will.
But yet I find that can still learn what I do with fervency and communicate it with passion. It is almost as if the confusion drives me, and that I have learned to pursue God's way all the more in the face of feeling unable to find it.
This is my life at the moment. This is my pursuit. To know Him as He desires. To continue to discover Him for myself, in hopes that I can communicate it to others.